Political Punsters Pillows

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

Newt, Presidential Candidate

North Korea

Welcome Great Trumpkin

Mod riding by on motorbike calling out statements - 'It's political correctness gone mod.'

'Man, with that much bull at your disposal you should be running for congress!'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Well, I don't care what Uncle Gary says. It's call the Capitol, not ‘Laws R Us.''

"Hoo, boy. . . this ought to be good. . .!"

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Tequila Mockingbird

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Cake News: Britain Desserts EU

Rattache

"We're not a school. We're a political action committee!"

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?