Political Polling Pillows

"And don't waste your time canvassing the whole building, young man. We think alike."

"It's a seasonal thing....Like the first gritters of the winter and the first cuckoo of spring!"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Poll Dancing

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Radomly selected poll respondent

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

On - Undecided - Off switch

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

'Our next question: is the world a safer place than it was a year ago?'

'I'm taking a north poll.'

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

Climate Change is Real