Political Nomination Gifts

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"I don't like your application."

Elections

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

The Russian Election.

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

The Thinker

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

George Papandreou.

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Pollster

'Why should I vote for a two-bit lame-brained nobody, when i could vote for a two-bit lamb-brained somebody with 'name recognition'?'

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Obama of Oz.

"We're on track for net zero."

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

'That's a very good question - Are you trying to make trouble?'

'Keep a lid on it!'

"Hello there...! I'm your hardworking GOP Congressional Representative. I'm running for re-election and I would appreciate your support..."