Political Appointment Gifts

Trump's Oath

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!

". . . and yours is the most special of the special interests I cater to."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

The president's men

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'I give this one about three months...'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"The boss can see you now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

SAGE mentality

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Rock and a Hard Place

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

"Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended..."

"I prefer to keep my op-ed article anonymous. I'm Trump's conscience."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'