New Political Office Gifts

'He's such a great man. Apparently he's already planning to stimulate the economy with some large public works.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"The boss can see you now."

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

"I prefer to keep my op-ed article anonymous. I'm Trump's conscience."

"Well, your CV certainly contains some very impressive name dropping."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"I've decided the most honorable course of action is for me to take the blame...and pin it on Gordon."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'I'm interested in a bureaucratic Position...'

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'