Office Politician Gifts

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'Boswell, it's been brought to my attention that your hidden agenda is in direct conflict with my hidden agenda.'

'Sometimes, I feel that we may be a bit out of touch with our employees.'

"My idiot boss failed my performance review... he said I have poor attention to detail!"

'Most people working here are motivated by either fear or greed. I've risen to the top by being motivated by both.'

From the moment John stepped into the room, he knew something was up.

"It's always cozy in here. We're insulated by layers of bureaucracy."

'I'm interested in a bureaucratic Position...'

'He started at the bottom and found it to be his comfort zone'

'I don't want to change. I want all of you to change.'

"So basically you are looking for books on changing everyone except yourself."

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately..."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

'I won't take no for an answer - unless it's followed by the word ‘problem.''

"Before I confirm your remuneration committee would anyone like to comment on what a charismatic and powerful leader I am?"

"Looks like their partnership is about to dissolve."

Leadership seminar

"Abstain"

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

'Work related injury.'

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'd like to thank you for participating in our new 'colleague empowerment policy'.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Well, you wanted a bigger job.'

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'The board voted 8-2 to wish you a speedy recovery.'

"I worked my whole life to get to the top, only to find that I'm afraid of heights!"

Man at top of corporate ladder destroying rungs.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I want to help you to help me to screw you."

"I think we'd be lucky to have you taking over even if you weren't untainted."

"The boss can see you now."