Office Politician Gifts

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'Boswell, it's been brought to my attention that your hidden agenda is in direct conflict with my hidden agenda.'

Employee has been left out of the loop.

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Sometimes, I feel that we may be a bit out of touch with our employees.'

"My idiot boss failed my performance review... he said I have poor attention to detail!"

From the moment John stepped into the room, he knew something was up.

'Most people working here are motivated by either fear or greed. I've risen to the top by being motivated by both.'

"It's always cozy in here. We're insulated by layers of bureaucracy."

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'I don't want to change. I want all of you to change.'

"So basically you are looking for books on changing everyone except yourself."

'I'm interested in a bureaucratic Position...'

'He started at the bottom and found it to be his comfort zone'

"Looks like their partnership is about to dissolve."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately..."

'I won't take no for an answer - unless it's followed by the word ‘problem.''

"Before I confirm your remuneration committee would anyone like to comment on what a charismatic and powerful leader I am?"

Leadership seminar

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'I'd like to thank you for participating in our new 'colleague empowerment policy'.'

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

"Abstain"

"I want to help you to help me to screw you."

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

'Well, you wanted a bigger job.'

"I worked my whole life to get to the top, only to find that I'm afraid of heights!"

'Work related injury.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'The board voted 8-2 to wish you a speedy recovery.'

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

Man at top of corporate ladder destroying rungs.