Political Conference Gifts

Conference Bingo

'...and I can categorically tell the world that there will be no war - until we have reached agreement on television rights...'

Boris Meets Merkel and Macron

The Decline of Europe

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

They're Not Just That Into It

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

The interested bystanders.

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."