Police Tactic Aficionado Gifts

'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Can I have your autograph...?'

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

Don't Try Anything Funny.

Arcarde Patrol

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

'I think this is a bit over the top.'

'I knew him before he became a police dog!'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Might Versus Right.

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

'Pretty much every case up here is a cold case.'

Street trader tricking police.

'Change - yes, but is now really the moment to be discussing change?'

'I like that guy. He gets a splitting headache, but instead of quitting, he calls time out, the athletic trainer tapes him up, and he gets right back in the game.'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'We know you're in there Bannerwitz! Now open the dam door!!'

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"When you get back out there, I want you to make him think you're losing."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

The French Are Fielding a Back Four

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

'Hey, rookie! Go chase that guy!'

'Call for back-up.'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'It's for my glaucoma.'

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'

Hague Convention Defied! Stiffnecking Tommies by Directing Draughts on the British Trenches.