Police Procedural Follower Gifts

"I don't get it. How did you know I was going to mug you?"

Trial by Media

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

"He did it!"

The Investigation

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

Moon Line UP

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

"There's something very wrong with this picture, detective."

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'

'Man that REALLY BUGS ME when a robbery call out turns into a WILD-GOOSE chase!' (Police chasing a goose driving a car).

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

"The suspect is roughly 55 feet tall and quite possibly green."

The Executioner's Identity Lineup

"Hello, police? I don't normally do this, but this looks like a very suspicious mole..."

'You have the right to remain silent.'

"Take me to Joanna Lumley."

"Pretty good turnout for a Monday."

Torn between taking the advice in her hiking manual and her impulse to help, Morgan Hirschi is frozen with indecision.

Dog Points Out Dog-Catcher in lineup.

"Look, I did bring you in here for questioning. I want to know if you like my new tie."

'That's not good enough!'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'