Police Investigations Gifts

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

The Anti-Agent

Police Feline Unit

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Come out with your fins up!'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."