Crime Scene Investigation Gifts

Bob's photography.

'Chief, the lab analyzed the keyboard. The suspect smokes, has long fingernails, and eats a whole of of cheese crackers.'

Target homicide team investigating the murder of a citizen shot in the Bull's-eye with an arrow.

It's early days Sarge, but I'm tipping this to be 'Number one with a bullet'.'

'He killed the teacher, then himself.'

'I'm not so sure that the intruder broke IN, sergeant. Look, there's snow on the outside of the igloo...'

'I've seen this before officer...when 'Rock, Paper and Scissors' gets out of hand.'

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

Official Accident Ghoul

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"True crime meets reality TV"

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"He did it!"

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Bribery and Corruption.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Newton's Law and Order.