Crime Scene Investigators Gifts

'It appears the weapon used was a glue gun.'

Chicken CSI.

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Looks like he taunted the wrong guy.

'Yes inspector, it's another cold blooded murder!'

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

"Boss, he's alive!"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"True crime meets reality TV"

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Bribery and Corruption.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

Newton's Law and Order.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."