Crime Scene Investigator Gifts

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

'We ran some samples at the lab... it's dirt alright.'

"Did he have any known enemies?"

'She says she was trying acupuncture to relieve his chronic headaches.'

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

'This is a textbook case of homicide.'

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'

'Well, keep searching lads, they must've left some sort of clues.'

"Whoever did this crime sure made a mess of the place. But not to worry...I got it all cleaned up for you guys."

'I suppose the only way we could find out exactly who collected these DNA samples would be to fingerprint everyone.'

'We'll have to check dental records to be sure, but we think it's the tooth fairy.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'Off hand, I'd say it's a head trauma caused by a blunt instrument.'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

Chalk Murder

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

'A piece of skin from the killer's arm, by jove. Let's go back to the lab, clone it, and identify the murderer when he grows up.'

'Any thoughts on cause of death guv?'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"Hey, dump that in the East River where it belongs."

'See? Now that you have a crime lab of your own, you don't know what to do with it.'

Police viewing art show of chalk outlines

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'They've gone overboard on this trend.'

Police patrol car with chalk body outlines on it.

Crime scene outline on the floor of a grocery store.

'You can stop looking guys, i found it ! The PROOF is in the pudding!' A detective finds a photo, proof of a murder in a bowl of pudding.

'He appears to have been stabbed with a screwdriver, a pair of scissors, a corkscrew and a bottle opener... Looks like the killer used a Swiss army knife.'

Everybody made fun of Josh for being afraid of his shadow, but later that day, they would all be sorry.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'