Investigations Gifts

C.S.I.R.S.

Senate Hearing: 'Define torture.' 'Having to testify before this committee.'

"Psst - wanna buy this building? It's going cheap."

"Full disclosure. . . we're not disclosing anything."

"Tough questions. Can't answer right now, but leave your card and I'll send someone around later to fill you in."

"It's nothing really serious. I just wandered a little too close to the harsh light of intense public scrutiny."

'I thought everything stopped upon hit the ground.'

'What makes you think our office is bugged?'

Policeman discovers a thief

FBI, 'Things are slow, Bensonhurst -- let's investigate the CIA.'

"This is outrageous! Arrest the usual suspects!"

FIFA Scandal

Blazer details Fifa bribes

We have control of you brain.

'The DNA proves you were unjustly convicted, and, in fact, you're the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.'

'I can smell a rat, sergeant!'

'When you asked me to follow your husband at work you didn't tell me he was a Formula One driver.'

Secret Service Phone Data... Scheduled to Delete...

Business man with magnifying glass

"Sure I can run a few experiments for you, baby, but it'll cost you. I get $275 per day, plus expenses. Instruments, software, chemicals...all extra."

"To be on the safe side, we need an independent prosecutor to check on the independent prosecutor."

"Today the House Intelligence committee began its investigation of the FBI's investigation of the House Intelligence Committees investigation of the FBI..."

Trump and the FBI

"I brought you here to thwart the surveillance team's lip readers, Johnny, not to entertain us with your stupid act."

"He's a very subtle whistleblower. He uses wind chimes."

"It was a typical evening at home as the Smiths checked for alien hairs on each other's collars."

"I opened the last Russian nesting doll, and there's a subpoena from the Mueller probe inside."

"I don't do cover ups!"

"Someone put something rude about me in the suggestion box. Our corporate forensic scientist is analyzing fingerprints, DNA and security video as we speak."

"One final question... Are you now or have you ever been a whistleblower?"

"Quick! Am I the Independent Counsel or the Special Prosecutor?"

"Your name has been associated with the hacking of several hundreds of social media accounts."

Optician and the PI.

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

"So, did you hear about all the excitement?"