Police Investigation Gifts

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

The Anti-Agent

Police Feline Unit

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Come out with your fins up!'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"True crime meets reality TV"

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone