Poker Night Hero Gifts

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

Playing cards.

'Once again, I fold.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"I see your thirty. I hear your thirty. I validate your thirty."

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

'Fancy a game of dress poker tonight darlin'?'

'I'm all in.'

'I detect you scanning my cards!'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Maybe you need to work on your poker face.'

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

"If he could put a horse up his sleeve, he'd probably win at that too."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

Playing for the jackpot, Wally picks up a nervous tick.

'I'm hear one of these guys is a certified mind reader, and I think I know who it is.'

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'I thought she'd never leave.'

'Careful. The house always wins.'

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

"This is the night Marvin gets together with his online poker gang."

'Go fish.'

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

Upping the Auntie

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'