Plumbing Mishaps Gifts

"Water hot enough for you?"

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

I hate it when they start without us.

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Mom!!'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

"Thank goodness you're here! My husband is trying to fix it himself!"

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"You should have called earlier."

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'