Plot Crafters Gifts

"I want to write what I know, but all In know is writing workshops."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

10 commandments

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

"Well, I've been struggling to write a book about my struggle to write a book..."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"We need a plot twist."

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"It hasn't been published yet. Bloody idiots wouldn't recognize a great book if it jumped up and bit them on the ass."

Writer Will Work For One Good Plot Idea

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

Writer's Block.

Ben Okri

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Mid-list Author Magazine

Man lifts up the pages of a book and discovers a brick wall.

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

"Please, sir, do you have any spare plot ideas?"

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"I keep losing the plot."

Heavenwood

A Vegetable Plot...

I'm not avoiding you!