Plot Creators Gifts

'I'm not supplying you with anymore ideas until you pay me what you owe me from your last novel.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Mensa Does Improv

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Hollywood producer.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

'Hang on a minute...'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Actor practising his indian war crys

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

TV Situations vacant.

"That movie was very familiar...a cute little girl who hangs out with monsters from a secret world."

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

"Great money scenes!"

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."