Playlist Ponderer Gifts

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Musical genres

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Crayo-Blah

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

Energy speculation.

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

Film critic critics

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

"Van Gogh has always been associated with the colour yellow. In your case I think the colour is mediochre!"

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

Sorry I've got Writer's Block.