Playground Overseer T-Shirts

"Have your grandchildren been visiting again, Cora?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

Swing

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

Constructing your own prison!

Fade to black...

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

'Let's play business. I'll be the chairman of the board and you'll work for me and laugh whenever I tell a joke.'

Switchback Playground.

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

'Pay outhouse' with a sign that says, 'Drop 25¢ in can.'

'Oh, look, Billy's found a playmate.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"Yeah, my mum made me come outside to play as well."

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

'The only imaginable solution to this problem is a battle to the death.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

'I have kindergarten burnout!'

"We've been admiring your fathering techniques."

"Beats me how it works... but if you sit here long enough a little snack pops out."

"It's no fair playing tag with him. He has a drone."

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'Be careful near the jungle jim.'

'It grows during the night. One day it'll cover the planet, and we'll live in a giant jungle gym.'

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."