Playful Privateer Gifts

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

Easter Island legs

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

K9 Literati.

Pet Pony

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"How many letters can you read?"

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'Click it or ticket.'

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Good book?'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

Dalmation with soccer ball: Soccer Hound.

A girl with a dog and balloons

Have a very piratical Birthday

Landlubbers ONLY!

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'Oh no we couldn't...We've known one another too long' Then they kiss and laugh

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Puppy and Kitten.

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

Pirate Artist

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'