Playful Parenting Critics Gifts

Mobile phone damage to children.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Circus Act

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Skateboard

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.