Modern Parenting Critic Gifts

A recent study found that their parents now spend as much time on their devices as their children do.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

Modern Baby Mobiles

"In regards to my son's education I am a firm believer in 'Laissez-Faire'."

'It's not gifts I want, but someone who listens.'

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

Free WiFi On-Board

"Yes, but Mummy and Daddy are on legal drugs."

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

'They start texting so young these days,'

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

We ARE playing catch.

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'

"?With this new baby-belt, I can baby sit while my wife works?"

Robot feeding Baby.

Parenting: then and now

"You gave him his own social media account? That's adorable!"

"My son is a millennial—I should just go to jail for him."

"I don't tweet for the follows I have, son. I tweet for the followers I want."

'It works better than the pacifier.'

"I'm being punished. For the next hour I have to stay out of WiFi range."

"Who are we to assign gender?"