Playful Inheritor Gifts

Man buying a mourning-band from a hatter

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

"Hi, it's me. My mum's confiscated my mobile." (Kid talks to friend using margarine tub and string).

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

"One day soon all this will be yours!"

She's leaving me all her money.'

'Creative right?'

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"I know I'm too young to drive. How about getting me a driverless car?"