Playful Banter Pillows

'We were playing doctor until she hit me with a malpractice suit!'

"Ever notice that you finish my sentences and. . ."

'A cheeky red?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

Heart To Heart

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

Mysteries of the ocean...

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

Propriety

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

"I love you but I love my chocolate fudge sundae more."

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

"I felt the Earth Move!"

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

Christmas Party Pick-up Lines.

"That is not what I call casual sex, Jennifer...I'm exhausted."

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

Carrie used sunscreen but it didn't completely block all the Rays. 'Hey, baby...Name's Raymond.What's yours?'

The Enemies

"Your big sister's getting married tomorrow, eat your greens or it's me and you on the dance floor."