Playful Banter Gifts

'We were playing doctor until she hit me with a malpractice suit!'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, BOO! Did I scare you? Regards, Rick in Seattle. (Actual reader letter). Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com. Yeah, I'm really scared. Aren't you, Rudy? Boo, Rudy! Boooooo! That, however, terrifies me. Sorry, you were saying? Some guy tweeted his breakfast menu.(This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-07)

"Ever notice that you finish my sentences and. . ."

'A cheeky red?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'How now, brown cow?'

Heart To Heart

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

Propriety

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

Mysteries of the ocean...

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

I need advice and if you ever tall anyone I asked, you're dead. Go ahead. People aren't taking me seriously. When I insult them, they don't seem that bothered. They don't cry or run away like they used to. C'mon, you're plenty offensive. Don't patronize me you @#$% meathead. Wow. Didn't bother me a bit.

"I felt the Earth Move!"

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

"I love you but I love my chocolate fudge sundae more."

"Vegetarian" is such a predictable phase. You'll grow out of it. Teddy? A word please. Come on, dad! You know I'm right. You may be. But your sister is stubborn. She digs in her heels. So? You added 5 years to her predictable vegetarian phase. I didn't predict that. Best colleges for Vegetarians.

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

"That is not what I call casual sex, Jennifer...I'm exhausted."

Carrie used sunscreen but it didn't completely block all the Rays. 'Hey, baby...Name's Raymond.What's yours?'