Witty Banter Gifts

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

"I felt the Earth Move!"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

Heart To Heart

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Touché"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

Cold caller.

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Know-it-alls

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'