Play On Words Patron Gifts

"I've been feeling a bit empty lately."

Labor Day Flowers

Queen of Quinoa

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

'The Saxon King' pub

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Surreal ale

Wanna talk about it?

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

Pub Kendo.

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

'Boozer's Week.'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"The usual, please."

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

Village Pet Shop.

"Right - let's get back to the house and pretend to hate each other..."

Who's Not Who.

"Do you realize that we spend one-third of our lives in bed and the other two-thirds in here?"