Play On Words Patron T-Shirts

"I've been feeling a bit empty lately."

Labor Day Flowers

Queen of Quinoa

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Wanna talk about it?

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

Pub Kendo.

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

'Boozer's Week.'

'It's very quiet in here, with everyone Twittering away.'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"The usual, please."

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.

"Right - let's get back to the house and pretend to hate each other..."

"Do you realize that we spend one-third of our lives in bed and the other two-thirds in here?"

Village Pet Shop.

Beer....Beer Fart.

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."