Platypus Ponderer T-Shirts

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Shakespeare was bisexual

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'White meat or dark?'

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Human meat.

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

Mankind

"Billions of years ago, earth had only one huge supercontinent..."

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

Romance gets off to a rough start in the Paleozoic era.

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

Walking on Water

Family Portrait

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

The Origin of Species

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

How moons are born...

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

Jupid/Jupiter/Jupidest