Purebred Ponderer T-Shirts

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Fish Food

"Who's next?"

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

Green Pieces Four Leaf Clover

"Your grass looks great."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.