Plastic Surgery Pun Lover Pillows

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

'You do Botox?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Hospital Cleaning.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'I can't turn it off.'

Cosmetic pouches.

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

Dentists who do appendectomies.

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

Old man - 'Who are you?' Glamorous lady - 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

Next! (liposuction specialist)

'Well, we saved this attorney...some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin.'

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

"Most drug lords evade capture by making smarter choices with plastic surgery."

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

'I'm so jealous: I would love to have a nose like that...'

Surgical mittens, an idea whose time has not come.