Plastic Surgery Pun Lover Prints

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

'You do Botox?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Plastic surgery is a scream.

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

'I can't turn it off.'

Hospital Cleaning.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

Cosmetic pouches.

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'Doctor, I asked for BOTOX injections, not BUTTOCKS injections.'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

'Your husband was in the rough...I mean...it was rough going there for a while, but he played through, um, pulled through just fine and the operation left only one small divot...er...uh...scar that barely shows.'

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

Next! (liposuction specialist)

'Well, we saved this attorney...some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin.'

"Most drug lords evade capture by making smarter choices with plastic surgery."

Old man - 'Who are you?' Glamorous lady - 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

'I'm so jealous: I would love to have a nose like that...'