Plastic Surgery Pun Enthusiast Pillows

"Plastic surgery saved my budget. I cut a few credit cards in half."

'You do Botox?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Plastic surgery is a scream.

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

Cosmetic pouches.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

'Doctor, I asked for BOTOX injections, not BUTTOCKS injections.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

'Your husband was in the rough...I mean...it was rough going there for a while, but he played through, um, pulled through just fine and the operation left only one small divot...er...uh...scar that barely shows.'

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

Old man - 'Who are you?' Glamorous lady - 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

"Most drug lords evade capture by making smarter choices with plastic surgery."

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"