Plastic-bag-buster Gifts

"Do you know how much damage all these plastic bags are doing to our planet?" "I've got a great idea. Eat all your stuff right here in the store."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Turkish Democracy

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Oil shock.

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

"They're spelt differently!"

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Plastic soup keeps on growing in the oceans.

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"No Littering" sign in space.

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

"Hang the expense, Potter. If you need another pencil, order it."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."