Plastic-bag-buster Gifts

"Do you know how much damage all these plastic bags are doing to our planet?" "I've got a great idea. Eat all your stuff right here in the store."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Turkish Democracy

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"That's an everblue."

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Oil shock.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"They're spelt differently!"

Put it in petty cash.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Plastic soup keeps on growing in the oceans.

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

"No Littering" sign in space.

"Hang the expense, Potter. If you need another pencil, order it."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."