Plant-powered Gatherer Gifts

The vegan hunter

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Barbecue

Midwest Winter Items.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Grocery Shopping

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

We're having a dinner party.

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

'Too bad loosing your ball, but I've found a rare Trifolium Occidentale.'

"I know we want our garden to be insect-friendly, but I draw the line at sharing my cream cake with wasps."

"We're having cocktails, you should come by!"

Home for the Holidays

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it!'

Wine Hourglass

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...