Plant Parenting Fails Gifts

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Allotment

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I'm losing my patience with you."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"You must have a green thumb."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Solar Plant

Boy's plant with the shadow of a tree.

"Can you believe that people inhale the gases we expel-sick, right?"

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

What your house plant says about you...

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

'Germinate... Germin-ate!!'

Bird nesting in the garden.

Tree Identification Field Guide...

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'

Max P. and The Whole Ball Of Wax