Plant-based Pursuers Pillows

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"States of tofu"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'New Barbeque.'

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

The early days of tofurkey.

"How almond milk is made"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"I can't remember which ones are plant-based."

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

Where we get veggie burgers

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

'Soy milk, soy burgers...imagine being replaced by a bean.'

Free Range Tofurkey.

Butcher shop +

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."