Plant-based Partygoer Gifts

Vegetarian Party

'Do you have a traditional lacto-vegan Christmas dinner?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Peel poker.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

Remember, what happens in Roswell, stays in Roswell.

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

Monster Roller Coaster

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

Woolly tofu.

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."

Vegan Menu

'Fancy a night on the tiles, Ivy?'

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

When vegans pose for photos.

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

'Hi. I'm Major Fixer-Upper.'

"Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist."

Man in vegan retaurant: 'I'll eat anything with a pulse.'

'How many vegetables died for your stupid salad?'