Pizza Philosopher T-Shirts

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"One supreme."

Existential Pizza

Pizzas

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

'What's the definition of an ideal man? After he's made love for hours, he turns into a pizza.'

"I'd like to order a cheese pizza with everything on it except cheese."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Hey, you two! What did I say about sharing?!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Stupid Microwave

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.