Pizza Critic T-Shirts

'I specifically said no anchovies!'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'Needs salt!'