Pitch Personality Pillows

The Goalkeeper

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Dragon's den desk. 'I'm in' and 'I'm out' tray on desk.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Football Crazy.

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

Wilfried Zaha

'Any questions?'

'You want to run that by me again?'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

Free Speech has heavy price.

George Best

Ryan Giggs

'Is there any chance you have been in close contact with a Baritone?'

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'