Pitch Hero Pillows

Connor Wickham

Footballers - Nick Barmby

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

The Goalkeeper

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

Football Crazy.

Wilfried Zaha

"I don't care if your mother is watching on telly, just get the ball in the net!"

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Big Football

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Professional football.

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'Any questions?'

Free Speech has heavy price.

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'You want to run that by me again?'

George Best

Ryan Giggs

'It's a new reality show call 'Detoxing with the Stars'...'