Pitch Strategist Pillows

Arsene Wenger

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

The Goalkeeper

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

'You want to run that by me again?'

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

"He's a genius at product placement."

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"Fabulous! Marvellous! The kind of job that only comes along once in a lifetime!"

'I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. Begin at the ninth.'

Bowled out.

"Mind if we play through?"

'What's our policy on begging for sales?'

"I've got this idea for a wake-up call."

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

'My idea's quite simple really. Put the money in the bag!'

'I'm sorry, Jimmy, but your father and I don't need any heavy industrial equipment.'

"The house? I can't tell you, I'm not allowed in it, but the garden is great! You'll enjoy it if your masters end up buying the house..."

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"