Sales Pitch Critic Pillows

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Cold caller.

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

'You want to run that by me again?'

Sales company

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

Arsene Wenger

"Fabulous! Marvellous! The kind of job that only comes along once in a lifetime!"

"He's a genius at product placement."

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

'I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. Begin at the ninth.'

'...I know it's a good discount but we don't need double glazing!'

"This smartphone is not very smart and will be a excellent purchase for you."

"They're 60 per cent wool, 30 per cent nylon, 35 percent interest..."

'Why do I think that someone has made up these numbers?'

'What's our policy on begging for sales?'

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

'Gee, looks like I'm all out of worms. YOu want to buy a boat?'

'It's good quality oil I tell you! Why doesn't anybody believe me?'

'I'm sorry, Jimmy, but your father and I don't need any heavy industrial equipment.'

'My idea's quite simple really. Put the money in the bag!'

"No for your lifetime, just for ITS..."

With the aid of a technical dictionary Colin was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"The house? I can't tell you, I'm not allowed in it, but the garden is great! You'll enjoy it if your masters end up buying the house..."

"They're becoming very pushy these doorstep salesmen."

"Wheels and an engine? Now you're talking sports package."

Door to door salesman selling anti aging cream