Pipeline Punster Gifts

'Later on we'll tell them it's oil.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Sweep the board.

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Kamikaze Colour

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'