Pollution Punster Gifts

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

Fisherman.

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'What happened? -- You've got carbon footprints all OVER you!'

Please DO NOT FOUL THE BEACH....(Unless you are a private water company...)

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Sweep the board.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dogs life

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'