Pious Entrepreneurs Gifts

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Drive-thru Church

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

The church of our lady of wall street.

"I suppose it's too late to start testing on animals?"

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

If business gets any worse, I'll have to start laying off relatives!

'Face it, you've changed. The man I married would never subject his family to an annual cost-benefit analysis.'

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

"We're throwing out the old rules."

'Fortune 500 Fortunes'

'Your business plan needs work, I'm not feeling a tingle of moral remorse.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother.'

'Seven companies in three years.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

"I refuse to exploit my mother."

'I'm thinking of starting a religion. What would be a reasonable initial investment?'