Pill Popper Humorist Gifts

"These are for your heart and kidneys – the others are for the rest of your organs so they don't feel left out."

"I'm not a drug addict, just a hypochondriac."

'Could I get this in an 'easy to swallow' coating?'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

The world's first exploding cricket box...

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'That's Hindenburg for you. Just can't express his anger in a positive way.'

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"You folks in R&D really did make a miracle drug. I've never taken it, but I feel better already!"

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'

J. J. Abrams

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Revenge of the Fish

'Face it, Fred -- hippos just aren't cut out for break dancing.'

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

Eighties Throwback.

'And now I've got gum stuck to the bottom of my sandal, that's it, I'm out of here.'

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

"If you could take just one medication, which medication would it be?"

Beggar advertises his oscar picks.

"These pills are larger, so if you drop one you can easily find it. You may want to take these with some water."

Laugh all you want -- I get great mileage!